Quitters Never Win



Sooooo not my body...but it could be in Spanx!

 A few weeks ago I started receiving books for my course in holistic nutrition. They varied in content from medical terminology to natural medicine to all sorts of lifestyle "diets". I have read all but 3 so far and that's because those ones are more like reading a dictionary and I think I'll save them for a rainy day. My favourite so far was the Ayurvedic book. It catagorizes you into one of three body types and lists a diet of foods that are good for your body and karmic happiness. I would not be happy here on the earth not eating eggplant, onions, garlic, tomatoes, peppers, salt, cucumbers, eggs, fruit juice and white bread. However my soul would be happy. As my soul is black just like my coffee, I don't think that there is any hope in following this one. I also read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle which has actually been recommended to me a number of times and found Barbara and her family a bunch of preachy smug homesteader wannabes with nothing pleasant to say to vegetarians though she owes 90% of her locavore diet to veggies and fruits. Whatever. The Metabolic Typing Diet was interesting and donald and I found ourselves in the same category. He didn't much appreciate the no sugar equals no snackies aspect but once again another diet preaching no white flour, no acidic vegetables...sigh. You would think by now I should be realizing that they are all telling me the same thing but no, onward I read in hopes of finding the diet lifestyle I want. Another called Enlightened Eating raves that a raw diet is best and it really made sense. Not that I would do it but I really liked her writing style. So armed with 15 books of various lifestyle changes I decided to make my own "diet". ( I will be a Registered Holistic Nutritionist in a matter of months...) No White Flour, No Milk or Milk Products and No Juice. Day One saw me spend 280 bucks at Stupidstore buying fruits and veggies and whole wheat flour and rice cheese galore. Day 2 had a smoothie when the juice craving set in, felt mildly satisfied, ate Ezekiel 2.0 bread and felt like I went to church...Mom would be so proud... had some faux cheese Nahleen had lying around and thought to myself hey I can do this. Day 3 had headache beneath right eye lid, would kill for a juice. Day 4 broke down and raided Nahleen's fridge for a watered down pineapple mango juice. Ahhhhhh so sweet and tasty, felt life flow back into my veins. Day 5, bought bagels and cream cheese and fruit punch crystals. I am a failure. This course luckily is about everyone else and their nutrition problems right? I'll just get a bodysuit Spanx set and wear patchouli and they can all think that I've found my higher vegetable deity.